Holidays

Sorry I haven't posted in so long!!

I had a great thanksgiving. All 50 volunteers in eastern province got together and my group dressed up of lord of the rings. I was Frodo and my costume was great it was a ton of fun. We had a few people cook a ton of food for thanksgiving dinner. They are amazing cooks and the food was delicious! We even had latkuhes because Hannakuh is so early this year. I never would have thought I would eat 5 kinds of pie (including pumpkin!) For a Zambian thanksgiving.

My 24th birthday was better than I could have ever hoped! I went to another volunteers hut, with another girl. Probably 2 of ny closest friends here, and we had a great couple nights, eating good food, even a cake! Doing pedicures, watching friends, and lacey even gave me purple paint and dominoes! It was also amazing to get phone calls and chat with my brother, dad and stepmom. I'm really lucky to have such loving family. I couldn't have hoped for more. :) on the weekend we came into the boma (town) and had a big party at the castle with some Zambian friends. I had a great time and ate the most delicious goat I've ever had. One birthday down, one left in Africa. I feel good about where I am and what I've accomplished at 24. I'm grateful I still have freedom to travel and a lot of options ahead of me.

I need to download a news app for my phone. Although it is kind of nice just living in the village and enjoying the calmness, I feel very disconnected from the world. But I have heard a lot of Zambians, as well as volunteers talking about the death of Nelson Mandela. It's truly sad and I hope that we can all be inspired by his life and continue his work. Also I heard his daughter's have a Kardashian-ish show. How disappointing, with all they could do in the world I think we all hope for more from them.

Rainy season is beginning here, and during the first half of the day no one is in the village because they're all out in the fields. they keep trying to get me to help, but I don't want to and tell ny sisters if they stay on school they won't have.to farm either.

My brother, Aaron and his girlfriend Megan sent me an awesome carepackage. I can't say how nice it is to have a letter from home as well as some candy and easy to make pasta!! Some days its hard living in the village, always having to speak nyanja, light a fire to eat almost anything, and missing food I didn't ever realize I would. Also all the hygiene goodies were amazing. I've always been a little messy, but in Zambia all the dirt makes it impossible to stay clean, so little stuff like being able to wash my face and paint my nails makes a huge difference.  Needless to say, eating a snickers and reading Cosmo makes my day much much better. They also sent bubbles which my kids loved!! Maybe ill try to get a video of their bubble joy next time.

Well my community entry is over, so now I can travel. Next week ill be having a Christmas eve brie (south African BBQ, pcvs never turn down delicious free food!)  with local missionaries in the boma who are always very kind to peace corps volunteers.  And then a few days later heading to Malawi. It's so strange having a warm December. But I enjoy it. I ate 2 mangoes today, no complaints here. I'll try to update my blog more. Sorry I've been slacking!! After Malawi ill be in Lusaka (the capitol) for a week for more training. Rumor is there's a legit deli ill have to seek out.

And in case I don't make it back on before, have a wonderful New Year!! Stay safe and healthy. I love u all and miss u even more!!! Xoxoox

Dear Gina

Maybe this would be better written in my journal, but I feel a need to share my feelings, and I know so many people back home are also grieving for you, and that you used to tell me how much u loved reading my blog, so this one is for you Gbaby.

I never even considered when I left the states that I wouldn't return to see your beautiful smile. We talked so much about me coming to see u in san Diego, I wish I would have come before I left, instead of waiting until after my service.

You have always been such an amazing friend, whether it was relaxing and chatting, going out to party and get drinks, or taking me through the rainbow car wash, it was always a great time. You always had the newest and best music, a smile that couldn't help but be contagious, no matter what my mood. U taught me what it means to be truly caring, genuine, and generous, you always had so much love and such an open heart. Many of my best memories are because you took my hand and showed me how to have a good time. You even came to visit me when I lived in Olympia, u were so sweet to all my friends and we had more fun than I could have expected. In Portland we were too young to rent a hotel but u convinced the guy to do it anyway. No one could refuse your smile and good nature.  I always looked up to you, how easily you could make friends, have fun, and how beautiful you were, even hungover after we'd been up partying all night. I will always admire your bravery and openness.

You always were there with good advice and a hug anytime I needed it.  I don't think there is a person who knew you that didn't love u. I will always cherish the great times we had, your endless willingness to have fun and make friends, and complete fearlessness. I hope you rest in paradise and are a guardian angel for your amazing mom, who has been a mom to so many of us. Les, I love you and I pray that you can find some peace because I cant imagine your pain. Gina you are a treasure to us all, and you will always be loved by so many.

It's hard being so far away. In a lot of ways I feel helpless. I found out on facebook and I'm still not entirely sure what happened, except that it was a car accident. Thank you to all my friends who have offered support. Even agogo (grandma) gave her condolences when she found out, even if it was all in nyanja. I've been lucky to never have anyone close to me pass until now, and for the first time in my life I find myself praying that there is a heaven and that you are at complete peace.

I can't help but feel you were too young, had too much to look forward to, and that selfishly, I want to spend more time with u. As much as it hurts and I miss u, I'm.grateful for all the good times, and the pain of losing you is worth every second of having known u. I love u Gina, today, tomorrow, and always you will be one of my best friends. Writing about u in the past tense breaks my heart, because I still can't comprehend that ur gone. Me and so many other people will miss you everyday, forever. Thank you for being an amazing friend and light in my life.

Happy Independence Day Zambia!

Today was a great day. I celebrated Zambia's 49th Independence Day. I  enjoyed bread and sugary coffee with my agogo (grandma) and sisters. It was a real treat. It's funny how something as common as bread and sweet coffee in the states are luxury foods here.

After a relaxing afternoon, I went with my.sisters to the village center where there's little shops and people had gathered. They brought out a chair they insisted I sit in. I couldnt help but notice I was the only one with a chair and the only white person in probably 200 people. As I thought about if they were indulging me in white priviledge, the kids started playing with ny hair, and the women came to say hello and tease me like always. I think zambians are just super kind and generous, and they want me as a visitor to be comfortable and enjoy myself. I think if I was a black American I would still receive special treatment as a guest.

There was lots of drumming and eventually a Chinao (i most definitely spelled that wrong but its pronounced chi-now) came out. He wore a straw skirt and his feet were wrapped, and he had on a big mask made of chicken.feathers that had a small face about 6 inches big. He started dancing, kicking up sand, throwing himself on the dirt, with lots of hip thrusting. The dancers would come and go and the crowd, including myself, loved it. I'm not sure the history or story of the Chinao but it's unusual for Zambian men to not wear a shirt and even shorts so the Chinao must be considerd very special with their exposed bodies, faces covered, and intricate dancing.

After a while a drunk man started a.fight with one of the Chinao dancers. My sister Dailess (8 years old) grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the front of the crowd. I wasn't even aware a fight was starting, and I still don't know why, because my language skills are still a work in progress. I'm so used to a fight brig goaded on by the crowd, everyone crowding around to watch and cheer. I was completely surprised how most people moved away from it and the men near by broke it up within probably the first minute it started. Drunks will cause trouble in any place, but I'm.grateful to live in a country that really looks down on fighting, who value peace, and is proud of their culture. After a.few minutes a man on a motorcycle took the drunk home and we all gathered back to watch more dancing.

There was another Chinao man who wore a bag on his face and short shorts and had his entire body painted red. He came out and everyone ran from.him.and he chased someone down the street before coming back.

The finale concluded with a Chinao man on stilts who had a straw skirt and a bag wrapped over his face coming out and dancing. I was utterly impressed. Also there was more dancing from the first Chinao man and a woman who held two branches and also had her face covered with a bag. The crowd donated money to them and as it got dark, my atate (dad) gathered his 10 kids who were there and we came home for a delicious and special dinner of nsima, fish, and rape with pounded peanuts.

Its hard to really describe the dancers but I took so many pictures and video I completely filled an SD card. I'll upload them probably in late November.

Little moments and a wish list

Things have been going well. Or maybe I'm just getting better at coping and adjusting. It helps that I've made friends in my general area with the other peace corps volunteers. I have no doubt that my village and community really care about me and want me here. I can see the sky through my roof and I said I'd run away if they didn't fix it for rainy season. Within a couple days I had more straw bundles arrive at my hut than I think I'd need for 2 roofs. Yesterday I was sick and left a meeting early and today I had not only my counterpart come check on me but also the head and assistant nurses came to my hut. They chatted for a bit and then excused themselves because they left a woman in labour! The head nurse said, "just like you are here for us, we are here for you."

I've been struggling with bed bugs which is so frustrating. I sprayed insect killer on all my stuff today and put it in the sun to dry. Fingers crossed it will work.  Then I laid in my hammock and read. It was a good day. I don't feel like I have anything exciting to say now that I feel pretty settled in and accustomed to life in Zambia, but I'm hoping my friends and family are interested, and even if not, one day ill look back and be glad I wrote about the little moments.

My clinic.has been doing soy cooking demonstrations and I'm so impressed by the dedication. My head nurse had 20 mothers with malnourished kids come stay at the clinic for 12 days to teach them about cooking nutritious food. We weigh the kids every day, and they all improved at least a little. I'm continually impressed by my communities dedication.

I've started reading "the boy who harnessed the wind" by William kamkwamba and Bryan mealer. It's a super inspiring autobiography about a boy who taught himself to maker a electricity generating wind turbine. It takes place in Malawi but its about the Chewa people which is my tribe here in Zambia. It's super fun to read and gives a great portrait of Malawian and even Zambian culture. If ur a future pcv for Zambia or Malawi you should definitely read it.

If people want to send me a letter or post card ill be super happy and hang it on my wall!! If u want to send a care package here's some stuff that would rock my world:

Zit cream
Just add water hashbrowns
Instant mashed potatoes
Instant gravy
Pudding
Gatorade powder
Parmesan cheese!!
Canned meats
Beef jerkey
Sour patch kids
Chocolate chips or chocolate anything
Anything cheesy I just add water to
1.5 volt N batteries (u can buy them at batteries plus and Wal-Mart)
The best itch cream America makes :)
Magazines
Letters
Photos
32 gb card for kindle fire
Cliff bars :)

Remember to write god is watching and air mail on any packages.
Samantha ezgar/peace corps volunteer
Po box 510203
Chipata, eastern province,
Zambia, Africa

Xoxox

My new role model: Esther Duflo

In the last two weeks I have gone on 4 different outreach visits with ny clinic staff to the designated Neighborhood Health Committees (NHC). This generally consists of me showing up at the clinic at the time they ask, waiting an hour till they're ready to leave, and biking 20 minutes to 1.5 hours. We arrive at the NHC to find between 20-over 100 mothers waiting. We start with a song in local language that says if ur child is malnutritioned the parents are responsible. Then we do introductions and then I've been giving a health talk about needing protein, carbohydrates, and vegetables/fruits, as well as clean water. I ask lots of questions and try to get the women as engaged as possible. This last time my clinic staff gave me 12 bottles of chlorin to give out to people with right answers. The mothers were so excited to receive it and really trying their hardest to answer my questions. What blows my mind is a bottle of chlorin cost about 1 kwacha ($0.20 USD) and they obviously want it because they understand they will be able to prevent diarrhea and clean their water with it, so why don't they just buy it? You might be thinking, well they're poor. And that's true, but they have a little money.

In my new favorite book Poor Economics by Abhijit Banerjee and Esther Duflo on page 48-49 they talk about this exact dilemma. "People in Zambia know about the benefits of chlorine. Indeed, when asked to name something that cleans drinking water, 98 percent mention Chlorin. Although Zambia is a very poor country, 800 kwachas (rebased currency currently sells chlorin for 1 kwacha) for a bottle that lasts a month is really not a lot of money- the average family spends 4,800 kwachas (rebased currency would make this 4.8 kwacha or about $1 USD) per week just on cooking oil. Yet only 10 percent of the population actually uses bleach to treat their water." It's a mystifying fact that I want to talk to people about, to understand why they don't buy the chlorin when they understand the benefit.

I have been completely inspired by Poor Economics. The authors have given complexity to the debate of
Foreign Aid and through randomized control trials actually tested how poor people make decisions and what they choose to spend money on. While I enjoyed reading Dead Aid and The End of Poverty they both fail with sweeping generalizations and a taste of one size fits all cures. Poor Economics avoids such conclusions and instead works to understand what works and what doesn't in specific situations. As in much of life, theres not one answer, sometimes aid is beat, and sometimes a free market is needed. But what I appreciate most if the position of power and respect they reserve for poor people. They point out that in industrialized countries we've often had the right choice made for us, such as chlorinating your water, because it comes that way straight into your house. But the poor don't have these luxuries, and as someone currently chlorinating my water its a pain in the ass and I'm always wondering if I put too much in and maybe I'm poisoning myself-and I have a college degree, unlike the average village Zambian who rarely makes it to grade 12.

I always need a goal, need to be looking forward to what my next step is. For a long time it was college, then Peace Corps. Although I still have a lot of time (2 years) to figure it out, I've truly found a new role model in Esther Duflo who as a woman under 40 has already accomplished amazing things and it shows through he many awards. She is currently the Professor of Poverty Alleviation and Development Economics in the Department of Economics at MIT. And to study under her is my new goal. Looking at the Poverty Action Lab ( MIT) website, I will actually be qualified for field work there after my Peace Corps service. Bachelor's degree, check! Work experience in a developing country, check! Self-motivated and independent, check! Knowledge of local language, check! I feel like I have a direction and even more inspiration for my service. I love the power of a good book.

To finish the beginning of my story about my health outreach to the NHCs, we weigh babies, which is tallied on their individual card that looks like a graph, talk to mothers if their kid(s) are malnutritioned. The clinic staff or community health workers test for malaria, HIV, and syphilis. The head nurse talks about family planning and distributes birth control, and they vaccinate babies. This is every month in all 8 NHCs and I plan to continue going, meeting people, and trying to understand them, as well as teach them the benefit of preventative medicine over curative.

Visited a witch doctor

Today was excellent. I woke up on my own time, relaxed and read, then my counterpart came to get me. We biked about 8 k to the local witch doctors house/ office. Dr. Siliya Mbewe. He is a certified traditional healer and has traveled to Indonesia, Spain, south Africa, Ethiopia, and Tanzania. He was trained by his grandfather who was also a traditional healer along with his father. He is the assistant director general in the Traditional Health Practitioners Association. He studied up to grade 12, and has taken other classes in HIV and other things. He can use traditional medicine such as herbs to cure many illnesses such as asthma and primary stage of STDs. He can also cure infertility. I was happy to hear that if someone has malaria or HIV he refers them to the clinic, and if his medicine fails he refers them also. I asked him directly if he recommended for people with HIV to sleep with virgins to which he.said no, that isn't traditional healers advice. I was also happy to hear that he encourages people to use pit latrines and drink clean water. He sees 50-75 people everyday. We had lunch together and he was very nice and answered all my questions and invited me back to teach me. I plan to work with him, to learn from him, and also try to encourage him to teach about condoms, nutrition, and bed nets. He is well respected in the community.

How he diagnoses someone is that u take a pinch of ground herb medicine and drop it into a stump in his office. He sits behind a desk and theres a small ceramic pot in it facing him which he calls a screen and he reads ur prognosis off of. I asked to do it and this is exactly my medical reading:

Body medical report
1 blood water, brain and synoviol fluid just fine and good in reproduction.
2 Peace coorps.
3 no STD, no HIV/AIDS, no TB no asthma no bronchitis NIL

4 nothing danger.
5 no one is after you be free stay well till you finish your 2 years with us here
6 anybody who may trouble you just report to us. For action to the trouble maker
7 nothing danger

On the way home we passed about 10 guys making bricks and my counterpart asked me to stop. Apparently as soon as these guys saw me they asked ro take a photo with me. I got off ny bike and went and held a brick while standing with them for the picture. It was the first time I've ever felt so famous haha. Afterwards my counterpart said to them it would be 5 pin ($1) for the print out. And after we got back on the bikes he let me know they're a bunch of drunks and work for beer. Haha

After coming home I was super lucky to get to talk to my brother for about 2 hours. Nothing better than that.

afterwards, I changed a flat on my bike (first time in my life hehe), bathed, and went to sit with my family. I saw some of the smaller kids from my compound walk up and they had a tiny little dog. I immediately ran over and picked him up and havent put him down since. I convinced the boy who acquired him to give him to me and once he agreed I was so happy I jumped up and down saying zikomo kwambiri (thank u very much). I've named my little guy Biscuit Bernard and I already love him. He's so malnourished and sweet how could I not?! I even kept him on my lap during dinner which my family didn't like but afterwards 2 different people actually brought me nsima to feed him. My amai asked where he was sleeping and when I said "bedi" she thought it was hilarious. Today has been the best yet and I feel even more at home now that I have a fuzzy friend. 

Week 1, getting better each day

My first night in my new home I felt homesick, but I'm much more comfortable now and getting moreso each day. The next day my counterpart came over and brought stands for my.water filter to make it like a sink,.and helped me set up my kitchen stuff. My.atate brought a bed frame. I'm enjoying spending time with my family and I have a lot of fun with my peer age sisters. They braid my hair, teach me how to do their hair, we dance, visit people around the village. It's nice Im never alone unless I want to be.

Its also given me a really good perspective to read The End of Poverty by Jeffrey Sachs. It's very interesting and well written and breaks down political, economic,environmental, and social problems that hold back poor countries. He groups all of sub-Saharan Africa together although he does mention Zambia specifically. Whereas the chapters on India and China, Bolivia, and Poland focus mostly on free markets and changes in economic policy AMD farming techniques, when he gets to Africa he writes almost exclusively about the need to reduce malaria & HIV prevalence, as well as water.and sanitation. I was shocked and couldnt help but feel good. He complains that.the developed nations have.yet to reach their goal of contributing 0.7% of GNP (gross national product) to help fight poverty, and so much that could be done, isn't being done. While I think he's right, I am a proponent of capacity building and direct education more than aid. And I can't help but think peace corps is on the right track by having us teach people.about HIV, malaria, nutrition, and water and sanitation. The optimist in me has resurfaced and I know I can help people change their lives for the better. Having a bigger perspective helps me stay motivated. Yes I miss running water, and so many other American luxuries, but I am living in a way that is considered extreme poverty and with that considered I'm pretty happy. And even if I'm not, I'm confident I can help people and that's why I'm.here.
Thank u friends and family for your support I couldn't be here without u.

Moving in & celebrations of womanhood

Today I moved into my hut for real. This is the first day of my next two years of indepent service.

I'm homesick. When I first came to Zambia my host mom spoiled me with a lovely little hut, great food, personal space, and taking care of all my real needs. Shit just got real out here. I expected to find a bed frame in my hut, like my counterpart said I would, which I didn't. I did laundry and because the well is already starting to run dry, I didn't really have enough water to wash my clothes well. Moving is stressful anytime but its real hard when u get dropped off an hour from anything that resembles a city and hardly anyone speaks English. I'm sure once I'm settled in ill feel better but for today I miss the statesand my family, shoot I even miss my host mom. although I have to remind myself this is a job and its bound to be challenging. I think its especially hard because I've been enjoying just being around Americans and living with electricity and running water for over a week. I felt overwhelmed by all the nyanja and like I didn't understand or remember much of anything.

When I arrived there was literally 30 people here to great me. They helped unload the cruiser and then grandma grabbed my hand and led me to eat nsima. Afterwards I did laundry and tried to settle in. I even managed (after a few tries) to build a shelf to put my clothes on.
Later on I bathed and then went with 4 of my teenage sisters to a celebration of a. Young woman getting her period the first time. They took her shirt off and tied a chitenge around her hips and had her follow one of my sisters in dancing as they sang and played drums. Man can they move those hips!! After a few songs they deemed it appropriate to also teach me how to be a woman and please a man by having my also imitate the dancing. I was terrible. After a while the younger woman sat down and it was just me imitating. I had fun with it but it wasn't my favorite experience. There's dances of moving ur hips while ur in all different positions as well as one where I pretended to smell my pits and crotch. Haha its how zambian culture teaches women so I do feel lucky to be included and very grateful only women and kids were there. I'm on my way to being a real Zambian woman, I carried 20 liters of water on my head today, and afterward went back to get another bucketful which I also carried back on my head. I'm so afraid of the well drying up.
After the puberty party my sisters and I walked home singing songs and dancing which was fun. We had dinner, the same as lunch, nsima, pork (with the rind), and green veggies. I'm looking forward to being able to cook for myself and feeling at home, right now I just feel scattered. People are all very nice and excited to see me and work with me.
Tomorrow I might start building my couch or bedframe. I can't lie, I was feeling a little down, and then I looked at facebook and saw other people complaining and it gave me comfort. Hey misery loves company. I'm really happy I have movies on my kindle which I'm going to cuddle up with right now. Goodnight, and I'm looking forward to a better tomorrow. Only 726 days of my service left.

Pitani bwino

"Pitani bwino" go well.

I'm so sad to be leaving my homestay. In the last 3 months they really have become my family. I'll never forget the day I came home in a terrible mood, and little Roberta (3 yrs) came over and made the funniest faces. Every day when I come home the kids run to me with open arms. They love being tickled and high fives. They love to be close to me, sit on my lap and get hugs. Today Roberta sung my name with some other noises it was adorable. Initially the kids were so shy and now they're so incredibly loving. I remember on day 1 little Dola (2 yrs) wiped her hand on her pants after shaking my hand. Hahaha it was funny then and even funnier to think about now because when I pick her up she won't let me put her down. I gave them and also ruthie (8 yrs) friendship bracelets today. And although I've given out a lot of friendship bracelets in my life I've never seen anyone so excited. They loved them!! Even priviledge (a little boy) wanted one. I'm truly going to miss these kids.

I'm also going to miss my amai. Even though she was strict and a little hard on me she treated me great and we had many laughs and good chats. She has taught me so very much about Zambian life and culture, even on days I didn't wanna hear it hehe. Like any good mom she laid down the law and took great care of me and I'm going to miss her kindness, but maybe not her telling me what yo wear.

I built my amai a fuel effecient stove that produces less smoke. We used bricks she already owned. And I am beyond escastic to see her actually using it. Behavior change is difficult and takes time but I've had a great homestay experience and feel optimistic and inspired as I begin my service.

I've passed all my final tests: language, medical, bike, technical, and safety. The day after tomorrow ill be pulled from my homestay to spend a week back at the motel this all began in. On Friday we swear in to become real volunteers. I'm looking forward to actually starting my service. I'm gonna miss this family but I also think ill fall in love with my family in lundazi.

There were days I hated training and didn't think I could bear it. Now that its essentially over I feel like it happened super fast and I wish I could save the good moments like a photo to pull out and experience at any time. The 27 of us trainees have gotten close and its a bummer we're all going to be so far apart. I'm gonna miss having American companionship and being able to share laughs. I think that the way I feel about training will be magnified for my service. I'm sure the 2 years will fly by, although i'll definitely have rough and long days.

As always I miss my friends and family tons and tons. And American food, toilets, showers, movies, & so much.

But I have no doubt that people appreciate me and want to learn what I have to teach. Yesterday I was in DAPP (imagine Goodwill) and the guy working asked why I was in Zambia. I told him I was a health volunteer (in nyanja) he asked what I was going to give them, I replied knowledge. I was surprised when he asked me to teach him because he wanted to know. So in all nyanja I explained the need to eat good food, especially protein and vegetables, every day and every meal. He asked questions, and afterward he turned to the other worker and explained (in English) what I had told him. Even though it was a quick conversation it made me happy that strangers are interested and willing to learn. Also while I was in the market I got at least 50 comments on the piece of rope I was wearing as a belt. "nice belt" "where did u get it?" "how much?" Haha I had a good time joking with people, and it was probably the funniest thing they saw all day. I'm so lucky to be in a county where people are friendly.

Wish list & first weekend in Ndaiwala

I had a great first few days in Ndaiwala. Which in Nyanja means I forgot. I know this place will be one I never forget. I learned that Ester Phili is an awesome Zambian World Champion female boxer, so I instead of feeling like Ester is an old lady name, I feel very privileged that my Atate gave me that name. Also I should qualify the story in my last post about hot roasted peanuts and say that Zambians pick up burning coals and so of course they laughed at me being burned by peanuts.
Sunday morning I introduced myself at 3 different churches and stayed at the third with some of my sisters and Amais. I joined in on the dancing (I didn't have a choice) and my lack of rhythm was obvious but the Zambians appreciated my effort and the women made a wooping noise similiar to the indian call we do in the States but more of a"lalalala" very fast & very high pitched. I spent the rest of the day relaxing with my family.
Monday I woke up about 8, even though my sister Betty told me to wake up at 6, and swept most of the dirt ground of the compound with a bundle of sticks. Everyone was very happy to see me doing traditional Zambian women's chores. Afterwards I ate breakfast and then went with my awesome counterpart George to see the clinic and meet the staff and NHC (Neighboorhood Health Committees)which are made up of Community Health Workers(CHW).I think its great my Atate (the Chief) is a CHW. We spent at least an hour of our meeting talking about what PC is and what work I will be doing. They made a big deal of my security being very important and that I can't get married while in service, which made me feel very comfortable. I did a fairly good job introducing myself and my project goals in Nyanja. Everyone is very impressed with my language skills (although they think I just started learning this weekend). I was surprised to see how motivated my clinic staff was. They seem great and I'm looking forward to working with them. We shared a nice lunch and then I returned home to relax with my family.
After dinner I stayed up later than usual chatting with my sisters. Many of them want to learn English/ improve their skills. One even asked me to teach her science. I also want to teach my sisters to sew. As we sat around the fire one of my little brothers brought me a book to read, and I did my best even though it was a manual for basic repairs.
Zambians are such kind people that it surprises me that they treat animals (especially dogs) with such insensitivity. They don't see them as having any feelings, and have never heard that dogs can be a man's best friend. I really want to do my part to try to change their feelings about animals. If you're willing to please send childrens books like Berstein Bears, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Arthur, Curious George, or anything else along those lines, or low level books especially "Where the Red Ferns Grows"
Here's my wish list of things I would be beyond grateful to recieve:
thread and needles to teach my sisters to sew
books personifying animals
Goal Zero Speakers (about $25 on Amazon)
Spices (cloves, cayenne pepper, basil, nature seasoning, taco mix, garlic powder)
baby wipes
Burt's Bees face wipes
Vitamin E
SIM candle for kindle fire with lots of memory
a nice map of Zambia
bubbles
a good Thermos
embroidery floss
pictures!
good smelling candles
gummy vitamins and chocolate calcium chews (for the kids)
lavender seeds!
jewish prayer book
scrabble tiles
Uno
good smelling soap and lotion
any kind of chocolate like twix, milky way ;-)
nail polish
My address is: Samantha Ezgar/ Peace Corps Volunteer
PO Box 510203
Chipata, Eastern Province, Zambia

If you do decide to mail any of this you can leave a comment saying which item so I only recieve one thermos etc. And thank you thank you thank you!! I am so very appreciate. Also if you want to make it for my birthday, just let me know and I will wait until then to open it :-) Also feel free to include anything else you think kids or teenage girls might like. xoxoxox

First day in Ndaiwala. Lion #1

I have a million things to share and I'm gonna do my best to tell it all. Today I was dropped off at my site at a little after 9 am, I'm visiting for 3 days before heading back to training to finish up.
I live with a senior chief. In every village is a headman, he reports to the senior headman of a few villages, who reports to a chief of a larger area, who then reports to the senior chief of an even larger area. Literally I'm an African princess. My whole family is extremely welcoming and won't stop feeding me. Zambians think its great to be fat and are trying to fatten me up as soon as possible. They laughed and laughed and thought it was crazy that people in America want to be skinny. I guess we always want what doesn't come easy. Anyway, my atate (father) has 3 wives and 18 kids!!! The family is huge!! I know almost no body's name except atate (friday phiri) and a sister named betty. The compound is huge and there's at least 10 huts, probably more. Atate has a nice brick house off by itself.
Almost everything I do my family finds hilarious and mimicks. They offered me roasted peanuts and when I picked one up it burned my hand so I dropped it. This was probably the highlight of their day because they immitated me for a good 10 minutes. Also while I was helping cook dinner a boy came and sat by me and when I realized he was holding a dead mouse I jumped up and was like I'm not eating that!! If nothing else, I will entertain Zambians for the next two years lol.
My hut is huge!! It's got 3 rooms and is really nice. Right when u walk in the door u see the lion that Ben Snyder, the last pcv, painted. I have no doubt this is exactly where I'm meant to be for now.
I never liked being called Samantha, for a long time I went by Sammie, and then in college I repatriated my brother's nickname, ezzie. Ezzie has gone over pretty well the last couple months, but within an hour of being here I was renamed Ester Phiri. Awesome. Maybe I shoulda stuck with Samantha.
At meal times I sit with my sisters and we start by washing our hands and then we all eat with out hands out of communal bowls. It felt kinda weird at first but I actually like it. Bite by bite we all dig in. It makes sense really, no way would I wanna wash individual dishes for over 20 people, by hand everyday, every meal.
I carried a bucket of water on my head today. I did pretty good. Someone took a photo on their camera so I'll try to get it. There's a well literally 5 meters from my hut so its great I won't have to haul water very far.
It's beyond beautiful here. I love it. It's warm and has lots of mountains and trees.
My address for the next two years is
Samantha Ezgar/peace corps volunteer
Po box 510203
Chipata, Eastern Province, Zambia.
I would absolutely love to get letters and photos. I'm also gonna post a list of stuff I'd like in case anyone is feeling generous and like mailing a package :)
My compound is essentially on the tarmac which is super great. I'm about 30 km from the boma (post office, stores, etc), 20 km from other peace corps volunteers, and only 15 km from Malawi's border!! I'm only like 3 hours from Calcutta bay I think. I'm super excited to be able to travel and relax on the beach.
Overall I'm happy and healthy. My biggest concern with placement was safety and I feel beyond safe living with such a huge family, having so many sweet sisters, and living with the chief. My nyanja is improving and so is my cooking. If u aren't already, u can see tons of my photos on facebook or instagram.
I love u and miss u all!!! Xoxoxxx

Bubbles!

Today I got out a bottle of bubbles that I had bought in a pack of three in the dollar store in the US. Even my host mom had never seen such a thing! The kids gathered around as I started blowing bubbles and I only had to pop one for them to get the idea. They started running around and laughing and yelling with joy. It was amazing. I couldn't blow the bubbles fast enough! They would hold out their little hands to me and call my name, A Ezzie! And when some bubbles finally came their eyes would light up and they would squeal with the biggest smiles! I can't think of anything that has made me so happy, maybe ever, than to see kids so fascinated with bubbles. Little dolas who is two and possibly my favorite noticed my tattoos on my feet ( after seeing them everyday for the last month lol) she gently tried to pinch them up, I laughed and found it beyond adorable. I knew it was almost time for dinner and should stop blowing bubbles, but I didn't really want to because I was having so much fun. So I blew bubbles until little Roberta ( 3 yrs) said ezzie kuwela over and over very sternly, I asked my amai what it meant and she said that Roberta was telling me its ok to stop. The kids here are so cute and loving and respectful.

Yesterday we went to an all girls boarding highschool to give a talk. Paul and I did and hour and a half on facts and myths of HIV/AIDS. The girls were super engaged and knew a lot, at the end we asked what they had learned and it was super impressive all the facts they shot back at us. The teaching here is all lecture and memorization so the students absolutely love playing games and they really soak it up. My evergreen nonformal education techniques really come in handy. They are so welcoming and want to share their culture with us, as well as learn about the states. At the end one girl asked "what was I leaving them with?" very shyly, and I said "hopefully some knowledge," and I was estastic when she smiled and said "oh yes I have learned a lot." When all the peace corps trainees and students got back out to the courtyard someone started a dance competition and it was soo much fun and oh man Zambians can dance!

Tomorrow afternoon I will find out my official site posting! I can't wait!! I'm so excited to know what Pcvs will be near me, what generation pcv I'll be, and what province ill be in. Next weekend I will be traveling to my province where ill stay a few days with a current PCV and then I'll spend 3 days alone in my site! I'm so excited to finally see where I'll be living the next 2 years of my life.

I'm officially half done with training! I'm looking forward to being posted but I'll miss the amazing friends I've made. My language skills are alright, definitely not the best, but not the worst! Some days are better than others, and I'm worn out of sitting in training all day everyday, so I can't wait to get to my village and have time to do what I want and really get to know people. But little moments like showing kids what bubbles are and hearing them laugh and be so happy make all the frustration worth it.

Just shy of month 1

I've been in Zambia just 4 days short of a month, nearly a third of the way through training, which Im convinced is the hardest part of service. In two weeks I find out whether I'll be going to eastern or central province, and in another month ill have second site visit at my actual site.
Today two people came to visit me while I was at home. The one guy said he didn't believe his friend that an American was living in the village. I sat with them and my amai and we chatted for a while. He had so many questions, how long would I be here? What were my days like? What.was surprising to me? What would I tell Americans about Zambia? And when I asked him if he had ever been to America he said that he hadn't and the only reason he would go would be to see that its real because its hard for him to believe that the movies are true. I tried to.explain a little about the states but its too much to try and explain. I wish I had a picture book or something :)
Everyday I keep my amai company while she cooks and today she tried to teach me. I wasn't even strong enough to stir the n'sima! We laughed and luckily she helped me, I wouldn't want to eat what I would have made. She also let me pound peanuts with a 2 foot big wooden mortar and pestal. Cooking meals takes about 2 hours.
The other day we went into Lusaka, and saw the museum and Dr. Kenneth Kaunda's house when he was first president while Zambia was still under British rule. The moderator talked a lot about Dr. KK's emphasis on unity and how he brought together 73 tribes as one nation. I have so much respect for this perspective and I'm sure that's why Zambia is such a peaceful country. His home was kept the same as when he lived in it with his wife and 7 kids. It's a small house with 2 bed rooms, a kitchen, and a main room. I couldn't help but think back to my trip to Washington DC where I saw President George Washington's rich mansion that he lived in about 200 years before Dr. KK. It took me some time to realize that although both were first presidents, only Dr. KK is a national of the country, while President George Washington had come from British privilege. The strength of Zambian people continues to impress me.

I was taken aback to see witchcraft artifacts in the museum. Not even alleged witchcraft, full on "when he carried this stick he was invisible to police" this is so different than any museum I've ever been to. But it was very interesting and the art was gorgeous, and of course I liked the historical stuff. They also had a box of stuff that looked like cotton labeled poisonous stuff. Haha I don't know if witchcraft is real but its a bit of a culture shock to be somewhere is accepted as a part of life.
My amai has two chickens who have lots of little chicks right now. And omg! They are beyond adorable! I love seeing them all run around and I definitely want chickens of my own when I get to site.
I love u & miss u all. <3

feeling zamtastic

im writing this for the second time as the first time i accidently deleted it while i typed the last word. im laying in my comfy bed under my mosquito net in my hut on my  smartphone. needless to say i wont be correcting spelling much less my grammar. 

i have been in zambia for 15 days now and i love it. i love the food, the super friebdly people, the scenery, the weather, my fellowe pcvs, and especially.how they add zam to the begining of jus about any word. zambitious, zamtastic, tambag, zamtelligent, zambeef. also little stores have.hilarious names like world.trade center, business plan #2. im happy to say i havent gotten sick at all and i really like living with my host mom. although ive never had a.mom with such high standards. haha she makes sure i bathe everyday, sweep my.hut, and eat lots of healthy food. she is very kind and i appreciate her patience as she teaches me a lot about nyanja ( the language im learning).
everyday i wake up about 5;30 to rooster noises and stay in bed till 6 or 7 when i vet up and make my bed, sweep my hut, eat breakfast, and bike to language class with 2 other people. after 4 houra i come gome for lunch and then i bike 3.5 km over seriously crazy terrain. when i get off the bike my forearms are sore from squeezing the brakes haha. 3 hours of technical training later i get to bike home where i bathe have dinner and go to bed.
today we went to a local clinic.where i and 2 other pcvs gave a talk about birth plans to 3 pregnant women. i am inspired to become as fluent as possible because having an interpreter sure makes it harder. one woman said ahe plans to walk 2 km to the clinic, and the other said she will ride a bike to the clinic when shes in labor. cinsidering that nearly half of births happen in home i cant help but think these women were probably also going to not be able to reaxh thr clinic. i hopw the interpretter stressed the importance of saving money for a taxi.
the lions im looking for i will probably see on a safari. but the more realistic lions are what pc gave a whole session about, "being out on a LIMB" Lonely, Isolated, Miseeable, and Bored. i have no soubt i will improve my coping skills, and ability to put others needa before my own. they even gave us a chart of our expected halliness during service. its about 30% not good but i am confident in muself and my motivations for being here. but if i ever call u feeling crappy please be supportive and remind me that it will gwt bettwr and the women ans children and men of zambia need information and outreach.
if u send me a package remember to write god loves all etc on it. check my fb kr instagram for photos and i have internet access on my phone so dont heaitate to aend a message. i love u & miss u all!

Last weekend in the States

When I received my invitation, I was disappointed I had to wait six months! It seemed like an eternity until I would be breathing African air. Now with just a few days before I depart Reno for Philly, and after two days, I will fly to Lusaka, Zambia to begin my 27 months of Peace Corps Service. I am glad I had as much time as I did though, I was able to attend my Mom's college graduation (which was great!!) and squeeze in more time with friends and family.

I am beyond grateful, and thank you doesn't even begin to express how much I appreciate and love all of each & everyone of you. I will miss you all TONSSS and will laugh at silly memories throughout my service. Thank you all so much for your love and support. I definitely couldn't be as prepared or as comfortable with leaving if it wasn't for everyone's encouragement & good vibes.

Packing has been a challenge, but because I've been working on it a bit at a time, it hasn't been overwhelming. As of now I have a large rolling suitcase with my huge internal frame backpack inside (so I can lock it while flying), a carry on backpack, and my ukulele. I feel ready. I'm optimistic this will be the most transformative and positive experience I could possibly be taking on at this time.

Here's the training sight I will be starting out at. Photo from a PC volunteer currently in Zambia.

 

 

I cant wait to take my own beautiful photos! And actually take Africa into my body & heart.

If you're interested my instagram is ezzie, my twitter is @Ez_ziE, Skype is sezgar, and of course facebook Ezzie Ezgar.

 

 

Perspective

I've heard that the Ancient Greek people saw life as if a person stood in the present with their back to the future, and eyes toward the past. They appreciated the fact that no one can know what will happen, good, bad, or neutral. I value reflection as an important part of life, and where most of my own personal learning and passion stems from. The value of remembering that we look over all of our previous learning experiences, joys, and sorrows, and being able to reflect, gives us insight, strength, and flexibility for the future. As I mature I realize that expectations and rigid thinking can keep me constrained. The power of perspective is not to be underestimated. Mentally we attach value to items or conditions. I try to be aware of this thinking and remain neutral. Nothing is good or bad. I think I will have many opportunities over the next few years to cultivate this perspective.

With good perspective and a positive attitude I hope to cope with the gigantic changes I'll be making. I will focus on the good moments and small improvements. I've been reading this book, Dead Aid, Why Aid is not working and how there is a better way for America by Dambisa Moyo, and I really like it. It is dense and makes my lack of African history and economic principles obvious, but I am learning a lot and at least being introduced to these concepts. I do see opportunities that I hope I can empower people to improve their communities. One quote that I will share with you is, "In a world of aid, there is no need or incentive to trust your neighbor, and no need for your neighbor to trust you. Thus aid erodes the essential fabric of trust that is needed between people in any functioning society." p. 59. Of course this quote is taken out of context, but the idea is that without local trade, local business relationships disintegrate and it is hard to generate income in a place without a strong middle class that can depend on each other, and some sort of justice to rely on if the trust does break down. There was also a great example in the book about how small sustainable businesses can be bankrupted by an influx of donated imported goods. The small business goes out of business and the (15 or so) employees lose their jobs and means to feed their (10 or so) people in their family (in this scenario, leaving 150 people without a recourse for employment). Eventually the donations stop, and the local community is left without access to the good. What draws me to learning about aid is that (although there are benefits for the lenders) ideally it is motivated by the desire to help people live healthier lives. In looking at the actual effects however, it is obvious that aid in a poor country breeds more dependence and worse conditions for the average citizen of the "aided" country. As I said earlier I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination and if you're interested I encourage you to read Dead Aid.

This all contributes to my commitment to the Peace Corps. My ideal goal is to empower people, to connect locals who can build support networks, and as the PC says, work myself out of a job. I was just fully medically cleared, and I have to say its a big weight off my shoulders. After a nine month process, I'm finally preparing to go. It's exciting to think that in about 2 months I will be meeting up with other people in my same situation to all begin this journey together.

Trying New Things

I think it is good for me to try new things. Today I participated in my first Zumba class. It was so much fun but incredibly difficult! I'm grateful I had Jess there with me to laugh it off with. i also opened an etsy shop and I'm trying to sell jewelry. I wish I could travel for free and not have to worry about pedestrian stresses, but if that was the case, I probably wouldn't be who I am or care about that which matters most to me. 

This is about two weeks old, but I'd like to share my St. Patty's day. My sister, mom, and I hiked Mt. Tamalpais in San Rafael, CA. It was a beautiful sunny day and the view was gorgeous. My dog, Sophia came along too and did great on the hike, walking through mud and streams, and reaching all the smells she could. Standing in my mom's living room I have looked at Mt. Tam more times than I could ever count, but I have only stood at the top once. 

After we quickly descended and returned home, we cooked a great dinner of corned beef and cabbage. I spent the night with my cousin Steph and we had a great night staying up chatting & watching tv. {I miss nights like this already <3} It was a great holiday and I'm grateful to have spent it with family. Although I always miss my brother +Aaron Ezgar on St. Patty's! 

I've started reading Dead Aid by Dambisa Moyo. I like this book for many reasons even though I've only read the preface.

1. The author is a woman from Lusaka, Zambia, who received a masters from Harvard in government, and a PhD in economics from Oxford. 
2. It is about empower Zambia and lifting restrictions placed by aid offering nations
3. It was written in 2009! {A good history/economics} book I just finished was published in 1986. 

I'm sure I'll have more thoughts about this book as I actually read it, but it's already off to a great start.

About a week ago I got a great deal at REI for a PURPLE camelback, which I have wanted for yearsss! I figure if I'm going to be biking 12 miles a day, it was worth it. I also had a coupon I used to get hiking bots today. They cover my ankle which I like & they're in girls size so hey another price break! The other library book I have right now but haven't started reading is called, "Living Poor, A Peace Corps Chronicle," so I guess my bargaining experience may come in useful.

One of the aspects of the Peace Corps that draws me in most, is learning new things. New language, culture, faces, traditions, and what I am capable of in a new situation. Before 9 this morning I had no idea if I could Zumba. Now I know I can, and need a lot of practice. 

I'm free to sell all I am, move where I can, and be as happy as I can be...

"I'm free to sell all I am, move where I can, and be as happy as I can be. If I was a diamond in the sun I would shine onto everyone to be free."  Diamond in the Sun by Sean Hayes

This is a trial run, no guarantees I'll be an avid blogger.

exactly eleven weeks until I'll be in DC for a day and then Zambia for 27 months.

I'm feeling excited, nervous, ready, and optimistic. I focus my energy on visualizing positive experiences & outcomes. Underneath the optimism and excitement, sneaks fear. I've changed nearly every aspect of my life in the last 4 months, and I miss so many people and my cat & dog. I'm looking forward to the future and the unknown. Mostly I fear losing people in my life that I deeply care about and wish I could spend days with. But I feel it's important for me to take risks and see as much of the world as possible. I cannot wait to meet the people of Zambia and create friendships with people half-way around the world from where I've started. I hope to learn & grow and practice community building and empowerment, and health education.

I read online today that Bill Gates offered $100,000 with a follow up million to someone who came up with a new condom that would actually increase sensations. Considering the condom design is over 100 years old, I  can't help but love Bill Gates and see him as a genius. The impact of people worldwide actually using condoms would be monumental. Birth rates, HIV, STD's, and HPV, which causes cervical cancer in women, and men show no symptoms.

I am in the process of collecting items to take with me. I want to feel the dirt under my feet, and learn to carry water on my head. To soak in the sun, water, wind, dirt, people, air, and energy of Zambia and the Peace Corps.

I miss my loved ones in Washington. I get used to it but it never gets easier. Sometimes even the good times are sad to think about because I miss them so much. I feel guilty sometimes for leaving but I know the people who mean the most will still be part of my life. But I still feel the emptiness, and sometimes no positive thought can make a difference. I try to focus on the big picture and trust my instincts.

Its been great spending time with my family. I had an awesome time with hanging out with my Cousin Stephanie, and at the Oakland Zoo with my Aunt Lynn, Uncle Richard, and four little first cousins. I had such a blast! We even saw a mock East African hut. We walked in and my Uncle (who was in the Peace Corps in the 1960's) said to me, "Welcome home." It was funny and probably not to far off. It was renewing to spend time with my family. Although I already miss my dog Sophia an incredible amount.

 As a kid about 11-15 I was inseparable from Jessica and it is amazing to hang out with her & her super adorable son & nice friends & husband. Years have passed but she is still one of my favorite people, genuine, and tons of fun. It nourishes an unfamiliar part of my personality to hang out with someone who knew me as a kid. Of course I hope these next two years strengthen my all relationships. It gives me hope that I will still be friends with Patrick, Gerald, Jenna Wes & Holis, Izzy, Naomi, Zz, Craig, Carolann, Marcia, Jaz, Peri, and anyone else I may have left out.

I used to idealize a world where privileged people would do service in other countries as a mandatory part of all education. I realize now that although I will have a life-changing, and amazing experience in Africa, it is beyond formidable to say goodbye to all the people I love, even if it is only temporary. Two years goes by fast, but a lot can, and will, change. I am awakened and passionate about my upcoming journey, and if it wasn't new and intimidating, it wouldn't be the outside my comfort zone, or cause me to grow and learn.