I'm free to sell all I am, move where I can, and be as happy as I can be...

"I'm free to sell all I am, move where I can, and be as happy as I can be. If I was a diamond in the sun I would shine onto everyone to be free."  Diamond in the Sun by Sean Hayes

This is a trial run, no guarantees I'll be an avid blogger.

exactly eleven weeks until I'll be in DC for a day and then Zambia for 27 months.

I'm feeling excited, nervous, ready, and optimistic. I focus my energy on visualizing positive experiences & outcomes. Underneath the optimism and excitement, sneaks fear. I've changed nearly every aspect of my life in the last 4 months, and I miss so many people and my cat & dog. I'm looking forward to the future and the unknown. Mostly I fear losing people in my life that I deeply care about and wish I could spend days with. But I feel it's important for me to take risks and see as much of the world as possible. I cannot wait to meet the people of Zambia and create friendships with people half-way around the world from where I've started. I hope to learn & grow and practice community building and empowerment, and health education.

I read online today that Bill Gates offered $100,000 with a follow up million to someone who came up with a new condom that would actually increase sensations. Considering the condom design is over 100 years old, I  can't help but love Bill Gates and see him as a genius. The impact of people worldwide actually using condoms would be monumental. Birth rates, HIV, STD's, and HPV, which causes cervical cancer in women, and men show no symptoms.

I am in the process of collecting items to take with me. I want to feel the dirt under my feet, and learn to carry water on my head. To soak in the sun, water, wind, dirt, people, air, and energy of Zambia and the Peace Corps.

I miss my loved ones in Washington. I get used to it but it never gets easier. Sometimes even the good times are sad to think about because I miss them so much. I feel guilty sometimes for leaving but I know the people who mean the most will still be part of my life. But I still feel the emptiness, and sometimes no positive thought can make a difference. I try to focus on the big picture and trust my instincts.

Its been great spending time with my family. I had an awesome time with hanging out with my Cousin Stephanie, and at the Oakland Zoo with my Aunt Lynn, Uncle Richard, and four little first cousins. I had such a blast! We even saw a mock East African hut. We walked in and my Uncle (who was in the Peace Corps in the 1960's) said to me, "Welcome home." It was funny and probably not to far off. It was renewing to spend time with my family. Although I already miss my dog Sophia an incredible amount.

 As a kid about 11-15 I was inseparable from Jessica and it is amazing to hang out with her & her super adorable son & nice friends & husband. Years have passed but she is still one of my favorite people, genuine, and tons of fun. It nourishes an unfamiliar part of my personality to hang out with someone who knew me as a kid. Of course I hope these next two years strengthen my all relationships. It gives me hope that I will still be friends with Patrick, Gerald, Jenna Wes & Holis, Izzy, Naomi, Zz, Craig, Carolann, Marcia, Jaz, Peri, and anyone else I may have left out.

I used to idealize a world where privileged people would do service in other countries as a mandatory part of all education. I realize now that although I will have a life-changing, and amazing experience in Africa, it is beyond formidable to say goodbye to all the people I love, even if it is only temporary. Two years goes by fast, but a lot can, and will, change. I am awakened and passionate about my upcoming journey, and if it wasn't new and intimidating, it wouldn't be the outside my comfort zone, or cause me to grow and learn.