Empowerment

I'm going to try to write about an idea I spend a lot of time thinking about. Empowerment.

My first experiences learning about teaching are still relevant to my Peace Corps service. I worked in day care for years and it took a long time to learn the patience to watch a child struggle to do something, like tie their shoe, instead of taking the easier route which would be to tie it for them and be done with it. But ultimately that kid doesnt learn to tie their shoes. Not until I could give up power to them, and give myself patience.

More relevantly, I was trained in empowerment techniques at SafePlace when I did an internship for advocacy of domestic violence and sexual assault. It's one thing to be patient about a kid learning to tie shoes, its much harder and even heartbreaking watching people devalue themselves and slide into abusive routines. It can be easy to say, "its so obvious its a shitty situation, and you could improve it if u just got a job and an apartment, and didn't go back." It's harder to stand by and encourage them through failed interviews and painful rebuilding of self-esteem.

I have to remind myself nearly every day that my work is slow, and may take generations. It can be frustrating to me to see well-meaning organizations come into my community and provide goods. Not because people don't appreciate it, they do. But because when I want to teach them to get those same goods for themselves, they know they can just appeal to that organization and get it for free. I try to teach about community ownership and the importance of investing your own time and money into projects, and how much more it will mean, they agreed and then say, " so how much can u donate?" I got frustrated. I said "nothing and I absolutely refuse to do fundraising." Later that day my counterpart explained to another community health worker that I wanted the community to donate money for lunch at the training. he literally laughed. He knew it could be donated. This is my bottom line. For every single meeting or training, participants expect a free lunch and probably snacks. This is because organizations come in to do trainings and provide it. I refuse. People have food. They could each contribute a little food or money.

What do I do? Let them appeal to other organizations to get the food? Or insist that it all comes from the community? This has potential to make me bitter and I think it's a shame. I got excited about working with my community to raise money to buy bikes for our Safe Motherhood Action Group. It would be sustainable, a one time thing, and something I believe would make a gigantic difference in community health. My community has a special opportunity having me, I can write grants and teach them how, and I have access to peace corps grants and so many amazing family and friends willing to help. But am I continuing to enable their entitlement? Do they see a difference between fundraising for a a big project that is long lasting like bikes compared to lunches for every training? Or do i just become a piggy bank in their eyes? It's beyond frustrating. I want to teach classes on HIV, or reproductive organs and health (because people dont know), nutrition, sanitation, or whatever they want to actually learn, but I cant unless I provide lunch, or raise funds. Shouldn't there be a desire for the knowledge itself? I know attendance increases when people provide food at meetings but about 10.9% of people in eastern province have HIV, people see loved ones and friends dying, is it too much to ask for them to learn about their body and the disease? And so again I remind myself, baby steps. I cant make them want to learn, I can only let them know the information is available and im happy to spend my time teaching them. Also part of what got me excited about the bikes was initially they were coming up with their own ideas to raise money, like raising and selling chickens or pigs. Then i suggested maybe we could do a grant. I have Peace Corps approval but im hesitant. The open palms asking for money sure increased after I mentioned the grant, even though I explained I can only do one. So do I do it? I would love to hear what other people think. I would be trying to raise about $2500 USD and it would be coming from donations, similliar to gofundme, but through Peace Corps and tax deductible. If I do it will I be getting asked for money for the next 18 months, because that would surely drive me insane. In American culture, or at least in my mind, asking for money is really rude and inconsiderate. There is an expectation that if you want something u work for it. And I dont really see that as much here. I will say though my community is extremely generous with me. If I need garlic or chili peppers they just give it to me and won't accept money back, my host dad is having a big bed frame built that I will get to use until I leave and he also bought my small bed from me when I upgraded my mattress. I live in a giving, sharing place with a communal attitude, but sometimes I miss the idea that everything has a price and should be paid by you, not fundraised for. What are your thoughts?