My Sister's Bedroom

Written May 21st
Today, Wednesday, after dinner my favorite sister, Dailess wandered off into the house with my headlamp. I sat around the fire and chatted for a bit. Eventually everyone started going back to their houses, and I was also ready to walk the 20 feet home and get into my pajamas.

I called out to Dai to see if she was busy, and then stepped into her & Agogo's (grandmas) house to see what was going on. She and my other sister Lontia were making their beds. They share a bedroom about 4 feet wide, 7 feet deep, and 7 feet tall. The bed they were making consisted of a reed mat with blankets on top. On one side, Dai had a piece of foam about an inch thick that looked old and beat up. There were plastic zambags hanging on the wall probably with clothes and books and shoes. As they made their beds they proudly showed me a beat up, coverless book in Nyanja.
***
On Sunday I came home from Chipata and enjoyed dinner and chatted with my sisters. I asked Sharon who I think is 16 but my family says is 21 why she hadn't gone back to school since term was starting back up. She said there wasn't money. This is strange because its harvest season and I've never heard her or anyone else in the family mention it. Also we had beef for dinner which is a huge luxury.

The next day I'm chatting with Agogo and ask where all my sisters are and she says Sharon has gone away to be married and won't come back. I asked if she would still continue school,but I wasn't surprised when the answer was no. I felt frustrated and said to Dailess and Lontia in my caveman Nyanja, "you will not have boy, you stay in school, you have a lot of knowledge, you get a lot of money." They smiled and agreed but it did little to ease my mind. For days I have brooded over this, was there an intervention I could have made?

I have been part of this family for 9 months and in that time I have seen 3 of my 6 sisters ages 16-21 leave to get married. I am so passionate and committed to girl empowerment and education but I can't even dissuade my sisters from entering into early marriage.
***
"The toughest job you'll ever love" is not a Peace Corps exaggeration.

When I glimpsed into Dai's and Lontia's small bedroom today, I couldn't help but think maybe I would also marry early to have my own house, space, autonomy. Maybe being 21 (or maybe 16) and in 10th grade is not enough. It is still frustrating to me that Sharon didn't go back to school. She was in a pretty good boarding school in Chipata, the nearest town. But maybe I don't have the right to be frustrated. I'm not sleeping in a tiny room on the floor, or struggling through school towards goals which may not be visible. Maybe all I can hope is her husband treats her well, she's healthy, well-fed and doesn't have too many kids.